The Big 40

So I am 40 now.....I don't feel that different, I don't know what it is supposed to feel like but I feel the same as I did the day before my birthday. I hate birthdays. The expectations are too high and nothing good ever happens. My expectations are that it is going to suck and I am usually right. My kids made me a card, or rather, my middle son made the card and signed it for most of them, he also put .20 cents in there "it was all I had" but darling hubby? No card, no gift, no cake. He didn't even say the words "Happy Birthday" I got "you look a little different this morning" at 5am when he woke me up to make his lunch. And "Hi Birthday girl" when he called me later in the day. My Mom called and wanted to take me out to lunch or dinner or something but I said no because my oldest had a baseball game and I wasn't feeling very much like celebrating, so she is mad at me. My one girlfriend called and offered to send me out to get my nails done, which is so sweet but impractical for me. I said no because I had to do school with the kids and laundry, always laundry. And my in-laws who don't even really like me, called and sang to me. So I wasn't totally forgotten.

Of course I kept thinking in the back of my mind that my own family would do something, but I guess I should know better by now. And joy of joys people, Mother's Day is coming so there is a whole 'nother chance to feel like crap.Gosh I am depressing, someone slap me. At least they won the baseball game.